I’ve been a Christian for almost as long as I can remember. And I have been a “committed christian” for most of that time.
Like everyone else, I have my own temperamental weaknesses. Weaknesses by themselves are not sins, but they can easily become sins. My hope was that over time, as God worked in me, those weaknesses would decrease in intensity.
While it is true that the intensity of those sinful desires have decreased over the decades of being a committed Christian, I still find that I could commit those sins if given the opportunity and under the right circumstances. It makes me shudder to think that my holy living and lack of obvious sin is simply because I did not have the opportunity for it. When I look at people that sin, even Christian ministers and leaders that have sinned, I am acutely aware that that could have been me if I had the opportunity. How frail I am! How frail we are! How deceptive is the human heart! So the prophet laments,
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
Like a wild pig taken that is now being raised in a sty, I could be the pig that if let loose would go frolic in the mud.
Peter, talking about those who are false teachers, propounds this thought:
Of them the proverbs are true: “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.” (2 Peter 2:22)
This raises another daunting question: how much of my commitment to God is because of my love for him rather than the fear of punishment and discipline? How much of my affection toward Jesus is merely self-preservative lip service rather than an undying devotion to Him?
My prayer is that my love toward Jesus would be such that even if distracting voices attempted to allure me, my love for him will progressively keep me focused on Him.
Till that time I pray that God will keep me continuously in the pigsty.